DAY 12:  THEY MAKE JEALOUSY WORK FOR THEM.

Many of us have heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And in actuality, it’s an act of violence. You may choose to believe that you are lacking, and that others are living amazingly abundant, kick-ass lives. But the truth is that you have no clue what’s going on behind their trendy Instagram posts.

Happy people know that comparison is not about the other person, but a tool to tell you what you want in life.  Inspiration is the healthy byproduct of jealousy. If you’re hyper-focused on what you don’t have, you’ll never notice all the great things you do have. And if you still need to compare, do it with yourself. Aim to get happier, healthier, and stronger than you were the day before.

DAY 11:  THEY ACCEPT THEIR FLAWS.

It’s great to do your best, but if your happiness is dependent on specific outcomes, you’ll set yourself up for disappointment. Nothing is perfect, and it’s rare that things go entirely to plan.

Sure, you want to conquer the world, but if you’re killing yourself in the process you may be achieving in order to feel validated and worthy. Happy people ask, “What can I do to give this to myself instead?”

DAY 10:  THEY DON’T TRY TO FIX PEOPLE.

Even if you could change others, you still wouldn’t be happy. Why? Because it’s less about fixing and more about feeling safe. Accept others for who they are, not who you’d like them to be.

Change what you can control: you. Happy people adjust their expectations or let them go.

DAY 9: THEY TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

Everything I blamed someone else for was my fault and everything I blamed myself for was someone else’s fault. . .

No matter who’s at fault or who takes responsibility, you have the ability to change your situation.

It’s easy to get caught in the “I wish things were different” cycle, but all that does is keep you stuck.

Take responsibility, not simply for what happened, but for what you want to create. Happy people know that self-awareness gives them the courage and humility to feel accountable.

DAY 8: THEY DO THINGS THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO DO.

If your social life is more exhausting than exciting, it may be time to re-evaluate your “obligations”. Sure, it may seem like you need to stop by your second cousin’s Christmas party. But if you aren’t making time for yourself, you’re likely to burn out faster than it takes you to down the eggnog. An hour with a negative person is more emotionally and physically exhausting than an hour on the treadmill.

Choose where to invest your energy. Still feel the pull of an obligation? Ask yourself, what would someone with self-compassion do in this situation? Happy people act “as if” they deserve greatness, and then truly own it once they’ve built the “I deserve greatness” muscle.

DAY 7: THEY ARE INTERDEPENDENT RATHER THAN CODEPENDENT

DAY 6: THEY STOP TRYING TO CONTROL EVERYTHING.

While that deep need for control can keep us safe, it also can keep us stuck.

Surrendering an outcome taught me that letting go of what I think I want (whether that be a guy or a job title) creates the space for bigger and better things to flow into my life.

Trying to control things blocks you from creating space for growth. Happy people change what they can, surrender what they can’t and know the difference.

DAY 5: THEY FORGIVE THEIR PAST MISTAKES

Sure, you’ve made mistakes. Lots of them. Hopefully, you learned from them. But if you’re still holding onto the pain and guilt instead of surrendering and forgiving yourself, it may be time to develop compassion. It can be painful and challenging, but it’s the first step to letting go of your old story and writing a new one.

Release it. Beating yourself up simply ensures you’ll never move forward. Happy people focus on who they want to be and what they want to create in the future.

DAY 4: THEY ACCEPT THAT FAILURE IS PART OF THE PROCESS.

The fear of failure is nothing more than a desire to feel safe. But this kind of “safety” keeps us stagnant. We tend to forget that making a mistake doesn’t make you a “failure.” Seen differently, it’s nothing more than a learning experience.

Next time you make a mistake, ask, “What did I learn? What worked? How can I fine-tune things next time?” And if you feel like you’re the only one who’s ever failed, look at every artist, entrepreneur, and you’ll be in great company.

DAY 3 TO HAPPY: THEY GET THEIR _____ DONE.

Identify the limiting belief that’s preventing you from taking action. Then, act “as if” you were the person taking action. Acknowledge your fear, but act anyway. Happy people take time to notice their track record of successes. Then, they recall that list to dispel fear around taking a new action.